Here.

Hmmm. Nah.

Every now and then I think about filming myself lip-synching. I’m no slouch. But I couldn’t put it on the internet bc that could hinder my professional life in the future. I could, but…

Why, yes, I am a singer. I hone my craft alone in my car. However, should anyone hear me, my voice instantly transforms from mellifluous ease into awkward awfulness. Magic, I tell you.

Platform One: Because some people just want to watch the world burn.

No matter how many times the internet warns me of impending unlikely excretions, I have never once shat a brick.